Last weekend something happened that knocked Anne and I back for a few days. Not a bad thing exactly… just one of those moments where you stop, stare off into the distance, and the grass on the other side of the fence looks very, very green.
You probably know I've farmed my whole life. But like a lot of Ontario farmers, for many years I also worked off the farm in automotive manufacturing. A completely different world. But there were problems to solve, systems to figure out, and I'll be honest, I didn't mind that part of it.
Even now I still catch glimpses of that world. Old connections. Industry things floating past my phone screen.
Well last weekend one of those messages stopped me cold.
I won't get into the details, but a job opportunity showed up that looked… well… appealing. The kind of role people spend twenty or thirty years working toward. I probably would have scrolled past it, but something made me read the whole thing. And the longer I read, the more I kept thinking --I've done that. And that. And that too. By the time I reached the end, I'd ticked every single box. Almost perfectly.
And right away my mind started wandering the way minds do. You know how it goes. Maybe a break from a tough lambing week. Maybe stepping away from the financial pressure of a small family business. Maybe a reliable paycheque and the occasional vacation somewhere warm.
I didn't say anything. Just carried on with chores, thinking it over while doing the rounds.
That evening I told Anne.
We sat at the kitchen table for a while. Talked through the what-ifs. I think everyone has those conversations from time to time — the ones where you look down a different road just to see where it might go.
We never really made a decision. The conversation just sort of drifted away on its own, the way they sometimes do.
Thinking back, I suspect the moment it faded was when our phones made that familiar little ding. The sound we hear when someone orders a lamb bundle. It has a way of pulling your attention right back to what you're doing here.
A few days later our good friend Dale stopped by. Ezdon happened to be over too — mostly because he'd heard his mom might have a hot supper waiting.
Eventually the conversation turned to what everyone'd been up to, and I mentioned the greener grass story.
Ezdon listened and then asked a fair question.
"Well Dad… why didn't you go for it? Sounds pretty great."
I glanced over at Anne before I answered.
"Well Ezdon," I said, "because I like having coffee with your mom at ten in the morning."
Anne smiled. I smiled. Dale and Ezdon smiled too.
Nobody really had a follow-up to that one. Funny how the small answers are sometimes the ones that carry the most weight.
And I think in that moment, saying it out loud, Anne and I both knew — that was the decision made
Farmer Rod