I was thinking the other day.
Well, thinking might not quite cover it—it’s been more like overthinking, analyzing, spiraling, looping… you get the idea. There’s a lot going on around here lately. We’re in a full-blown push to grow this farm operation, taking on bigger goals, bigger investments, and, truth be told, bigger worries too.
Somewhere in the middle of all that mental gymnastics, I stopped and asked myself:
What the heck am I really doing here?
I mean, I’ll be 52 this year. Fifty-two! That’s feeling a bit on the old side to be launching such ambitious plans. The kind of investments we’re making now—equipment, infrastructure, land—these are things that take decades to pay back… if everything goes right. And that’s when the troubling thought crept in: by the time these big ideas really pay off, will I even be around to enjoy it?
Pretty heavy, I know.
But then, as I was doing chores, the radio was playing in the barn and good ol’ John Tesh came on with one of his little “Intelligence for Your Life” bits. I didn’t catch every word, but the gist of it was this: people who feel younger than their age tend to be healthier and happier.
And suddenly, I thought, Well then what the heck am I doing acting 52?
That number doesn’t get to define how I feel—not unless I let it. I mean really, who says I have to feel my age? There’s no law, no rule, no person that can control how old I choose to feel. That’s mine. One hundred percent. And once I wrapped my head around that, I felt… lighter. Like maybe I’ve been dragging that number around with me more than I realized.
Honestly, I don’t know why I’ve been giving it so much power lately. Sure, I creak a little more than I used to, and sometimes it takes me two tries to get up from the floor. But I’m still here. And we’re still building this whole wild sheep farm thing.
Later that same day, I had a few big decisions to make. Ones that would steer us through the next few years. And I paused for a moment to ask myself—what age do I want to be when I think this through?
Twenty? Nope. At twenty I was more worried about looking cool in a tractor than checking the oil in it.
Thirty? Maybe, but I was still figuring out how to balance dreams with reality.
Forty? Now that sounds just about right.
Forty was full of ideas. Full of energy. Full of belief. Forty didn’t worry if the math worked out on paper—he just got out there and tried. And really, it was around 40 that this whole crazy sheep dream started picking up steam.
So that’s it—I’ve decided I’m 41 now. Not officially, of course. Don’t worry, I’m still proudly 51 when I pull up to Wendy’s for my free senior's coffee. Some perks you just don’t mess with. But in my head? In my boots? Out in the barn? I’m 41. Mentally, physically—yep, forty-one feels just right.
And let me tell you, 41-year-old Rod got a lot done that day. It was a good day.
Funny, isn’t it? The power we have in how we think. A simple shift in mindset can be the difference between feeling stuck and feeling strong. Sometimes all it takes is loosening the grip on that number we’ve been dragging around.
So what’s really the point here?
Well, I guess this is a short story long :-)
The point is… I’m going to pick up 30 new ewes to add to the flock this weekend!
Have a good one!
Farmer Rod